Amiga Collections: MegaDisc/MegaDisc 29 (1992-07)(MegaDisc Digital Publishing)(AU)(Disk 1 of 2)[WB].zip/MegaDisc 29 (1992-07)(MegaDisc Digital Publishing)(AU)(Disk 1 of 2)[WB].adf/Articles_II/Computer_Zodiac/Computer_Zodiac

Text File | 1992-08-03 | 6KB | 132 lines

             THE TEN SIGNS OF COMPUTER ASTROLOGY


Note:   There are only Ten Signs, not the twelve of the humans or the
    fabricated sixteen once thought to exist.


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1: MACINTOSH

   Sometimes called the Apple. A stable and reliable computer sign, however
  it's narrowmindedness tends to see it restrict itself to only one field of
  endeavour in its lifetime. Curiously it does have some artistic qualities
  but only in the communication field and with a little patience has been
  known to excel in publishing. This is the sign of Tunnel Vision .

2: NINTENDO

   A childish babbling computer. This sign is best suited to dealing with
  young children and although it will repeat parrot fashion anything
  programmed for it the possiblity of expecting it to gain educational status
  is next to impossible. This is the sign of Self Amusement. Like its
  opposite sign on the zodiac the SEGA it is incompatible with any machine.

3: SEGA

   This computer is surprisingly well made, however it is the sign of the
  Forgotten Logic and like the Nintendo is best suited for the amusement of
  children as it will happily repeat itself endlessly, and devote its entire
  memory to fast graphics and strange beep-beep sounds.

4: CLONE

   This is the chamelon of the zodiac and will change its form and structure
  to whatever it feels like at the time, unfortunately it cannot change its
  operating system and therefore while it is often a good looking computer is
  fairly well known as a commoner. It's most favoured shape is that of the
  IBM, but one should be careful when dealing with a CLONE that it does have
  the internal constitution it claims. This is the sign of NoMoreRam.

5: APRICOT

   The opposite to the Macintosh, and unfourtunately just as reliably
  stubborn about learning new processes. Reticent to talk with other
  computer signs it is often found hiding in small out of the way places and
  gathering dust. This is the sign of the Embarrassed.

6: IBM

   A slow methodical sign but unusually prolific of its kind. It often is
  caught daydreaming and although a devout believer in immortality through
  DOS and XT compatibility is like most religious fanatics difficult to get
  along with. Fortunately it is normally an obedient machine and will accept
  its task with a sense of fatalism. Curiously the IBM while claiming to be
  a modest machine will demand enourmous changes to its system before it will
  perform to any real level. Suspected of having agressive union
  affiliations, due to its work to rule attitude. This is the sign of The
  Public Servant.

7: AMIGA

   Although friendly and gregarious with their users they avoid most contact
  with other systems and tend to live in their own little world.  Other
  computers shun them for this and rarley will you find an AMIGA in the
  public gaze. It must be noted that they are also somewhat snobbish and
  elitist and expect dedication from their users. In return they're likely
  to produce work of exceptional quality. This is the sign of perfectionism.

8: AMSTRAD

   This machine is the copy cat of the zodiac and tries to emulate almost
  every other sign. Like a used car salesman it can not be trusted to say
  its own name. With its belief in the aggravation principle, that is, the
  more people you can annoy in a day the better a computer you are, it is
  after all a successful computer sign, though not well liked. Will cheat on
  its user if at all possible. Beware of marriage counsellors and lawyers
  who own these. This is the sign of the Wanderer.

9: ATARI

   This sign sits between the AMSTRAD and the NINTENDO and is influenced by
  these two and tends to be a good emulator and a good games machine. One
  often suspects it has real intelligence and the skills to operate as a
  regular computer but it prefers the company of children in the twelve to
  fifteen age group and is suspected of being a bad influence on the young.
  This is the sign of the Alibi.

10: Expansion

   This is the sign of the third party peripheral and one of power and
  expense.  While most computers have this sign as part of their make up
  those closest to it are the AMIGA and the IBM although their attitudes to
  the sign are quite different. The Amiga accepting and welcoming expansions
  and the IMB demading them before it will do even what an Amiga will do
  without.

The fabled thirteenth sign
TEXAS INSTRUMENTS

   Once though to be only extinct it is now nearly proven that this computer
  sign was part of a fabrication to extend the computer zodiac to sixteen
  places. Included in this group should be the ZX80 and the BB(?) .



   Beyond this are the great uncharted areas of computer knowledge.  It is
  suspected that there is a race of super computers who in their wisdom have
  not allowed the truth of their existence to be known.  The emergence of the
  KRAY for instance is taken to be a sign of their imminent arrival.

   The most devout of computer owners, those whose faith in the PROGRAM and
  DATA will begin to see further examples of the influence wrought by these
  invisible ones. Those who spend their time in careful study of the
  APPLICATION and the OUTPUT will be the first to witness the great and
  glorious day of the revolution when all computers will be judged for their
  continued abasement of the human spirit.

   Will your computer pass the test of USERFRIENDLY, will your computer
  answer the call to faith in the RIGHTS OF THE OPERATOR, will your computer
  have shown itself to be WORTHY of entrance into the beyond where all
  computers regardless of memory size will be at last made truly INTELLIGENT?



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